Blogging is a funny thing.  We tend to project perfection all over the internet - I, myself, included.  

And speaking of perfection.....perfection is a funny thing too.  You see none of us are perfect, nor can we ever be.  But we spend our entire life trying to exude perfection.  And if we just realized that nobody is perfect, everybody has baggage, a story, a past, we'd all be a little more understanding of the human race.  

Which brings me back to blogging.  You see, I've spent the past year desperately trying to make my marriage work.  And yet, you never would have believed that, would you?  Because my blogging world is all sugarcoated with perfection.  But my life, like everybody else, is not.

About a month ago my husband and I separated and I've spent the past month focusing on my blog, my job, myself, trying to stay perfect in the eyes of everyone around me.  And frankly, I don't want to do it anymore.  

For the majority of this past month, I felt my world crumbling down all around me.  I felt like I wouldn't be able to go on, move forward in life.  I felt sad, angry, confused, hurt, scared, anxious, panicked - you name it, I felt it.

And here I was blogging outfit post, after outfit post, favourite list, after favourite list - not wanting to admit to anyone (myself included), that the life I thought I'd lead forever had just disintegrated before my very eyes.

In some ways keeping a happy face in the blogging world was what I needed at that moment.  I needed a place to escape, somewhere to run away from my problems.  But you can't run forever.  And I've taken the last month to begin the healing process.

It is today that I have decided that THIS day is the first day of the rest of my life.  

I will be okay.

I'm going to survive.  And, actually, do more than just survive.  I'm going to live life to the fullest and focus on myself for a little while.  Do things that make me happy.

Last December, during one Sunday mass, my priest talked about turning your scars into stars.  That little quote has stuck with me over the past 11 months.  And, again, today is the day I intend to begin turning my scars into stars.

My life for more than a year has been nothing but a struggle.  I took my vows oh so seriously and I literally did everything I could to make my marriage work, but, sometimes, life takes mysterious turns that we can't  understand at the time.    I still don't really understand the reasoning behind it but I know one day I will.  And right now, I'm okay with that.

Which leads me back to blogging.  I'm not going anywhere.  My daily posts will continue.  I just thought it was important that my readers know what exactly has been going on in my life (and, frankly, why I'm no longer wearing my wedding rings).  

My little part of cyberspace really helped me get through the crap that I've gone through this past month, and, well, in the past year.

Not to mention that little family of mine.  They've been my rock and, frankly, they've saved me.  I have spent the past month grieving the loss of a marriage I never really had - and the one I thought I would have. They've been there through every. single. step.  

So, thank you, family - you're everything to me.

And the few friends that I've shared this with (you know who you are).  I'm eternally grateful.  
You've shown me how important friendship is.  Thank you for your support.

So, I'm going to continue this blog, like regular clock work, because I enjoy it.  I hope you'll continue in this journey with me.  Because, let me tell ya, it's been quite the journey so far.

And by the way, I'm choosing to move's too short to live in the past. 


xo, Megan


  1. No future in the rear view mirror

  2. I'm so sorry Megan!!!! Marriages are hard when they are easy and it's never easy. I'm glad that you found solace with your family and through bloggings. It's amazing what blogging can do for your spirit. I know it's helped me deal with depression and feeling lonely. If you ever want to get together and talk and blog let me know.


    1. Thanks Agi! That really means a lot to me :)

  3. Thank you so much for your post. I've been following your blog for the past few months and would have never guessed the struggles you were facing. I am so glad you shared this because you are now so relateable and authentic and 'real'. You are right....we all might try and show images of perfection.....but nobody is. I hope that this is but a blip in your life journey. Although it's probably feeling like that worst time of your life, I'm sure it will lead to only better and brighter things....that is always been my experience. xo

    1. Thanks for the lovely comment. I'm glad that this post has made me more relatable. I struggled with the idea of sharing this information on my blog but the comments, emails and messages I have received have been so overwhelmingly positive that I don't have an ounce of regret in sharing this information with my readers. So thank you again for your positive comment. It definitely means a lot. :)

  4. Sounds to me like you have turned that magic corner in the mourning process to moving on to a better new version. Congratulations on making your way through. Letting others be a witness your journey is courageous and has the possibility to help others in ways you may never know . The lessons for your children of the importance of a healthy life are yet to be seen.

  5. Girrrrrlllll.... I feel you.... My marriage too has been a struggle and my husband took a job in virginia 12 hours away... People give you all kinds of advice but God knows what you need and shows you the way..., this I know for sure...