Therapy

I find it so helpful when I'm feeling overwhelmed or sad or angry to write about it.  I wasn't always like this (although I've always been a fan of writing) but since starting this blog it's become my outlet.  And especially, since my recent life changes, it's been more therapeutic than you know.

Did you know that during that difficult time in September ( read here), I still kept my blog as one of my top priorities.  Not because I felt I needed to but because it was simple therapy for me.  It felt so good to escape from reality into a world of frivolous fashion, sparkly accessories and favourite lists.

I went a couple of weeks in September where I couldn't stop.  You know when you go through something traumatic and you feel "okay" until you stop to relax.  It's during those relaxed moments when your mind starts to race.  I'd feel myself begin to freak out, feel a panic attack forming or my stress level rising.  It was those moments that I'd pull out my computer and think - "i'm going to throw myself into my blog".

So, let me just thank the heavens for this blog!  It was one of the things that got me through the hardest thing I've ever had to go through.

September was tough - like really tough.

I think of the many, MANY difficult moments I went through, the things I had to think about, decisions I had to make and I think "how'd I ever make it"?

But it's funny how the brain and body work.

You see, I think there is a survival mode within us.  We turn on our autopilot and just coast.  That's why those moments of down time were tough - because I had time to think, to process my thoughts.

Anyway, in time, of course, I began to experience more moments of down time and so I've had to learn how to calm myself, to be able to enjoy those relaxing moments again.

I've also made a conscious decision to surround myself with things that provide me the therapy I need to heal.

(1) I began running.  Like really running.  I actually joined a running program and am working up to a 5 km run in December and a 10 km run in April.  And just to put this into perspective for you, you're looking at a girl who couldn't run a block so, for me, this is huge.  Right now I'm running four times a week and I literally can feel the stress evaporate with each step I take.  Not to mention, it's helping to make me feel better about myself, my appearance.  It's making me feel good again.

(2) I've turned my new house into a home.  And even though I  know I won't be there forever, for the time being, it's perfect.  It feels homey again.  It feels like me.

(3)  I've found the importance of my career again.  For awhile, I was just going through the motions of going to work each day and waiting for the hours to slowly tick by so I could leave again.  But, I see the purpose again in my job.  I see the importance and I'm so happy I have people relying on me again.  I'm really ready to work hard.

(4) I've surrounded myself with positive people.  People that make me feel good inside.  I've talked about them before, but that family of mine really is the best.  They know just how to make a girl feel not so blue and how to make her laugh through the hardest of times.  I've had weekly chats/dinner dates with friends that have helped tremendously.  I'm oh so grateful for the ears - because sometimes all we need is someone to listen, to vent to.  And not to mention all the other important people in my life - they've all been there.  It's nice to not feel so alone - to feel a huge network of support and to know that those people truly care and will be there anytime, anyplace.  I'm one lucky girl.

And, I mean, this is a style blog for goodness sake.  It wouldn't be me if I didn't say that I've participated in a bit of retail therapy too over the last few months...
;)

But all jokes aside, it really has been lovely to feel like myself again.

M.

xo, Megan